Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Yesterday was a busy day -- lots of running around, in 100 degree heat, no less. Hannah had her check-up at the pediatrician. You may recall, the boys had their check-up just two weeks ago, so their vaccination shots were still fresh in their memory. I did my best all morning not to mention to any of the kids that Hannah was going to the doctor that morning, but the second word got out, every other word out of the boys' mouths was "shot" or "poke." Hannah was not happy about this at all, and when Hannah is not happy, we all look into a witness relocation program.

So I pull the boys aside and explain to them that they need to be good big brothers and help Hannah feel more comfortable about her visit to the doctor. They immediately shift their focus, recalling other parts of their own doctor visit. John said "You might not get any shots. Maybe they'll just squeeze your bones." Chris chimed in with, "You know what they want you to do? You have to pee in a cup! Hannah can't pee in a cup, she's a girl!"

As it turns out, Hannah was having a ball at her examination. The doctor has a hopscotch mat in the room that Hannah couldn't get enough of. She laughed as it tickled when the doctor put the otoscope in her ears. She loved singing the alphabet with her, counting to ten, and answering questions about numbers. She thought it was great when she was asked to draw pictures. Now, Hannah isn't much into drawing. She mostly scribbles, so when she was asked to draw a man, I was not surprised to see her alien-dog-man creature with arms and legs sticking out all over the place. She drew hair on him, telling the doctor that he is bald, and then drew a treat in his hand.

Then the party was over. In came the nurse. They make the parent sit the child in their lap, and give them a bear-hug. This sounds like perhaps it is to comfort the child while she is getting shots (four of them!), but in reality, it's to prevent the child from kicking and swinging at the nurse. By shot number three, I was ready to take a swing at her myself.

No, seriously, the nurse was great, and she did it all so quickly and kept the banter going to help distract Hannah, it was over in no time. That didn't stop Hannah from wringing every last drop of drama from the situation as possible, though. When we got back in the car, she told the boys, "She sucked my blood, and I love my blood!!"

After that, it was off to LabCorp to have blood drawn from all three kids. Chris went first. First is important -- it sets the tone for the two that follow. We didn't tell the kids exactly what was going to be done at this visit. So, once again, I have Chris seated on my lap, and they fold down this tray in front of us, effectively eliminating our escape plan. I explain to Chris that we are going to give them a little bit of his blood so they can test it and see if he has any radioactive Spider Powers. It was all over very quickly, and Chris did great. I asked him to keep it our secret about the needle poke when we went back to see John and Hannah. He told me that he thought the blood drawing was easy, and I encouraged him to say "It was easy" when he came out. Plus I let him choose who the next victim would be. He flip-flopped a few times, and finally settled on John.

John's turn passed without event, and we returned to the waiting area to collect Hannah. I had to chase her around a row of chairs a couple of times, to the amusement of the few other people waiting, carried her into the examination room, and proceeded to give her the bear hug. Hannah, always trying to be in charge of every situation, told the nurse when she thought she had enough blood. I swear Hannah could probably will her vein closed to cut off the nurse when she deemed it appropriate.

So, when all was said and done, back in the car, John asked Chris why he chose him to go next. "Why did you pick me? You want me to get poked with shots? You want me to get hurt??" Then a discussion arose about why the shots hurt some of them more than it hurt others. Rather than go into a lengthy explanation on varying levels of pain threshholds, I replied,

"Different pokes for different folks."